the moment of truth...

Today was definitely an...ummm....interesting day??! I dunno how else to describe it I guess. I went to work then had my service learning, which is a course requirement for my college. I really love my service learning site, which is at an elementary school. The kids I work with are so much fun, they make my day every time.

awesome words to live by

So I find that no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to stop thinking about this specific person who, apparently, left more of an impact on my life in one month than I thought he would. Now I've honestly never had a boyfriend...I know, almost 24 and never had a bf...talk about embarrassing.  Anyways, so this is really the first guy who, I thought, showed an honest interest in me.... but I was WRONG... sorely sorely wrong.  He hasn't talked or texted me in 2 weeks. So now I can't seem to stop thinking about him, which is something that I never thought would happen. I'm not really the type of girl to get all giggly or girly or shit about another person that I'm into....probably why I'm still single.

"It's a beautiful lie,

It's a perfect denial,

Such a beautiful lie to believe in,

A beautiful, beautiful lie makes me..."- 30 Seconds to Mars

If you haven't heard of this band...you definitely need to. Amazing lyrics that get me through every day.

Sitting here watching 'A-Team' the movie...I love it. One of my fave movies and I don't even know why. Bradley Cooper is so hott in it. "Close that door, I know you're airborne rangers but that was ridiculous!" I love it. "Alph Mike Foxtrot, in other words Adios Motherfuc***."

This was a Buddhist prayer that a friend of mine sent to me to help with shit that I was going through:

May I be safe and protected.

May I be free from danger.

May I be peaceful.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I live with ease.

"May I be happy".. this is a prayer that I always say to myself, but so far it doesn't seem to be helping so much. I find that no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to find myself truly happy. Or when I do find something or someone that does bring about true happiness, I cling to, maybe I cling to it a little too much.  Maybe I need to learn how to let go a little bit, so that I can be sure to hold onto that thing/person.  

Now I don't want you guys to think that I'm like feeling low on myself or anything, because I definitely know that my shit is no different than any other person's.  So, please don't leave comments or anything that says I need to get over myself, because I definitely know that I am lucky to be where I am. So yeah...there ya have it.



These are my words, thoughts, and feelings. These are my beliefs and the thoughts that I live with.  For now, this is what I have and, you know, don't read if you don't want to. Or do read if you do want to. If you don't want to read and you do anyways...well that's your own problem :)